If you have ever made a mistake, raise your hand (Hint: All hands should be raised). If you learned from your mistake, raise your hand (Hint: All hands should be raised). If your mistakes have helped shape you as a person, raise your hand (Hint: All hands should be raised). Unfortunately, neurodiverse individuals are rarely given that right. In my work in group homes, I often see staff/caregivers/guardians put restrictions in place so that the individual in their care does not make a mistake. I think we do it with good intentions, we don’t want to see them hurt or sick or sad. But, in taking away their right to make a mistake, we are also taking away their right to be human.
According to Chris Lyons (an attorney who services individuals with disabilities), the right to make a mistake is important “ because it is at the core of our human dignity. I suggest to you that that which makes us most human is our ability to enjoy our successes by having the ability to own our own failures. It is that contrast, that yin and yang if you will, of human nature that allows us to truly be a person.” Self-Advocate, Max Barrows, expands on this when he talks to service providers and says, “Please don’t protect us too much or at all from living our lives. We are going to have to encounter failures through decisions that we make… it’s really the number one way of learning of where lines are drawn and also it helps with learning yourself. The dignity of risk is one of many opportunities that people with disabilities deserve to have.”
I’m not suggesting we throw caution to the wind and let all hell break loose. But I am suggesting that we ask ourselves “Is a nondisabled person allowed to do this?” If you had a stressful day at work and you want to eat a dozen donuts, you are allowed to. You are still allowed to eat a dozen donuts even if your doctor has advised against it. You are still allowed to eat a dozen donuts even if you should be saving your money for something different. You are allowed to make that mistake.
Would a nondisabled person be allowed to:
- Eat Burger King everyday for lunch? YES
- Drink lots of soda instead of water? YES
- Get a tattoo? YES
- Buy lottery tickets? YES
- Get a piercing? YES
- Skip medication? YES
- Pick who they want to date? YES
- Have a dirty room? YES
Later posts will talk about how to use antecedent interventions and client motivation to still teach while respecting an individual’s values.
Resources:
Youtube Video: Self-Determination: “Dignity of Risk”
Youtube Video: UVM Center on Disability and Community Inclusion