Tag: executive functioning skills

Posted on

Social Media can help Neurodivergent People Make Friends

How online interactions can be easier for people with Executive Functioning Deficits

In a previous blog post I talked about how executive functioning skills are extremely important when interacting with others. Interacting online with people is one way to help mitigate some of these deficits.

The Scandinavian Journal of Disability Research published an interesting paper (“Exploring The Potential for Social Networking Among People with Autism: Challenging Dominant Ideas of ‘Friendship'” by C. Brownlow; H. Rosqvist and L. O’Dell) that addressed how online interactions are viewed by people with disabilities. The purpose of their study was to “deconstruct dominate understandings of (autistic) friendship”. They did this by reviewing previous literature on the subject and interviewing neurodivergent individuals. Many of the people interviewed for the paper provided very specific examples of how executive functioning skills posed a problem during in person interactions, but were lessened during online interactions. For instance:

  • Autistic individuals said that online interactions gave them the chance to look back at previous conversations, so they knew where to begin.
    • This not only helped them know where the conversation left off and how to pick it up again, but it also allowed them to look back at information about the person they were talking to.
    • Online interactions can help with deficits in working memory.
  • Autistic individuals also said that they were able to plan their responses better when they were interacting online there wasn’t the quick back and forth that is present in “in-person” interactions.
  • It is also easier to focus on online conversations because you just have to focus on the words.
    • Some people might say that you miss out on body language/facial expression/voice tone, which help in understanding another person. However, all those things can also get in the way because neurodivergent individuals spend so much of their time and energy focused on trying to interpret all that information.
    • In person interactions can feel like an overload, while online interactions don’t.

Posted on

Executive Functioning Skills Impact Social Skills

I recently conducted a training about how to teach online safety skills to individuals with disabilities. Before I went there I looked into the pros and cons of online relationships. It is pretty easy to identify the risks (i.e. potential exploitation, bullying, etc). But as I did some research I thought it was interesting what the benefits are.

Many people (with and without disabilities) have executive functioning deficits. This means that they might lose things, not show up on time, fail to plan, lose things, lack emotional control, etc. I used to think that executive functioning skills were specific to school/work. But I realized that they are also paramount when it comes to social skills. See the table below for a breakdown of the executive functioning skills and how they related to social skills.

So, having online friends can actually help mitigate these executive functioning deficits. See below for how:

Some qualitative studies were done to see how neurodivergent individuals experienced online interactions. One participant said, ““With photos and names listed, I can keep track of my friends even when I have trouble with names and faces. All the background information of my friends are available for me to reference. Friends provide updates with which I can use as a context to re-establish contact with them where necessary.” Interesting….

Posted on

Neurodiversity and Asking for Help Part 2

Last week I brought up one reason some neurodiverse individuals may not ask for help- they aren’t aware that they need help. Another reason why they may not ask for help is because of a fear of rejection. In my work with neurodiverse clients I usually start by asking them what they think about asking for help. I either have them fill in the blank or use a likert scale:

Many of my clients have said that they don’t ask for help because they don’t want to look stupid. In their mind, asking for help is admitting failure. Many neurodiverse individuals have Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria. Rejection Sensitivity Disorder “is extreme emotional sensitivity and pain triggered by the perception that a person has been rejected or criticized by important people in their life. It may also be triggered by a sense of falling short—failing to meet their own high standards or others’ expectations.” So, when we are asking a neurodivergent individual with Rejection Sensitivity Disorder to ask for help, we are asking them to independently admit failure (sometimes publicly), while independently regulating intense emotions. Even if you don’t think this is hard, remember that neurodiverse individuals have different abilities and just because something is easy for you doesn’t mean it will be easy for them.

So, what do we do? First and most important, stop using shame to change behavior. Shame is a fear of feeling unworthy or not good enough. Individuals with Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria already have a heightened anxiety around being rejected or not good enough. So, when we use shame to “teach” we are actually making things worse. Feeling shame can increase avoidant behaviors; essentially, you stop trying. Instead, we can:

This is from “Autism Level Up”. https://autismlevelup.com/whys-not-size-of-the-problem/

References:

https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-and-adhd/

ADHD Experts Podcast #250 “Beyond Shame and Guilt: Transformative Strategies for Women with ADD” https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-expert-webinars-index/

https://autismlevelup.com/whys-not-size-of-the-problem/
Posted on

Activities for “Therapeutic Failure”

Using “Just Dance” to increase Executive Functioning Awareness

In the previous post I talked about helping increase executive functioning awareness by using a technique called “Therapeutic Failure”. Essentially, this is where you letting a child fail in a safe environment. I know it sounds negative to just let someone fail, so I wanted to share an activity I did with my social group involving this.

In our group we played “Just Dance”. Some people were familiar with the game and some people weren’t. While we were dancing there was a visual that showed you what the dance moves were supposed to look like. Because we were just doing the game over youtube I had to pause it everyone once in a while and ask them if their bodies looked like the ones in the video. Then we talked about if their performance was equal to the person in the video (meaning they did all of the moves correctly), if their performance wasn’t as good yet (YET being the key word!) or if their performance was above average.

I had a variety of responses:

  • Some individuals had average performance and noticed that they had average performance
  • Some individuals had less than average performance and were able to acknowledge that it was less than average (although their demeanor indicated they felt ashamed)(The individual may be between the first two levels of awareness, but shame and fear of rejection are getting in the way of them asking for help).
  • Some individuals had less than average performance and were not able to acknowledge it (The individual is still at the first level of executive functioning awareness and does not yet know that they actually need help).
  • Some individuals had a below average performance, were able to recognize it and were able to identify strategies that help their performance (This is Anticipatory Awareness. This is when we can expect an individual to independently request help).
Posted on

Neurodiversity and Asking for Help Part 1

You can’t ask for help if you don’t know you need help

One common concern I hear from parents of neurodiverse individuals is that their child won’t ask for help. There are a couple reasons why neurodiverse individuals may not ask for help. The first one is that the individual may not even know that they need help. They may not be aware of their deficits/differences. The picture on the right describes the three levels of executive functioning awareness. Before neurodiverse individuals can be expected to ask for help, they need to have an “anticipatory awareness” of their deficits.

If your child isn’t at this step yet, you can use “Therapeutic Failure” to help them get there.

  • Let them fail in a safe environment. Oftentimes, parents/teachers/staff help too quickly. When we are too quick to provide assistance, the individual will never know that they actually need help because they have never experienced that failure.
  • Give your child a task that you are fairly certain they cannot do on independently/correctly. As they are doing the task, do not help them (unless they are in danger of hurting themselves)
  • Wait for them to notice that they have done something wrong or don’t know how to do something.
  • Use “failure” as a time to teach and not a time to shame. Many neurodiverse individuals see asking for help or not doing something correctly as proof that they are failure. We can talk them through “failures” by praising their effort, grit and flexibility.

References: “Development of Executive functions” Second Edition by Jill K. Fahy and Gail J. Richard

https://www.proedinc.com/Products/31746/the-source-development-of-executive-functionssecond-edition.aspx

Posted on

Feng-Shui and Executive Functioning Skills

Remembering to pay bills, filling the gas tank before it is empty, remembering appointments, planning a get together with friends, making dinner- all of these things require Executive Functioning Skills. Executive Functioning skills can be difficult for anyone, but especially neurodiverse individuals. When I say “Executive Functioning Skills” I am talking about (for more specific definitions look at the bottom of the page:

That’s a lot! So, where you start. You start with creating the optimal workspace. That is going to be different for everyone. It is important to remember that your child’s optimal workspace may not look the way you want it to look, but it might be functioning well for them. And if it is working, we don’t want to change it. 

            Below are some questions you can ask yourself to find your child’s optimal set-up. These questions are adapted from Martin L. Kutscher and Marcella Moran’s book “Organizing the Disorganized Child”. 

WHAT’S MY CHILD’S ORGANIZING STYLE?

  1. When your child is looking for his backpack/phone/keys, he asks you…
    1. “Did you see my____?” (focuses on visual cues)
    1. “Do you know where I put my ______?” (focuses on location and relations) 
    1. “Do you know when I last had my______?” (focuses time or a sequence)
  • When your child is doing his/her homework, s/he…
    • Puts all the items they’ll need for their homework out in front of them
    • Clears off the area before they does their homework
    • Stacks their homework assignments in a certain order before or after completing the assignments  
  • Your child responds best to a teacher who…
    • Writes the notes on the board
    • Make him/her feel good about herself 
    • Runs a very structured and orderly class
  • When your child is invited to a party, s/he…
    • Decides how much fun he thinks the party will be based on the design of the invitation
    • Thinks about what he will do at the party
    • Wonders how long the party will be
  • When your child returns from an activity with friend, s/he…
    • Describes what their friend’s house looked like
    • Describes how they felt at the activity (i.e. “I felt…”)
    • Describes detailed events of the activities in the order that they took place
  • Would your child rather go to a…
    • Movie
    • Physical activity class such as gymnastics, dance or soccer
    • Do a puzzle
  • When picking out a TV show/movie, your child looks for…
    • The TV show/movie with the nicest cover
    • A title that they feel good about
    • A TV show/movie about history or a biography

Now calculate the totals (it is possible to have more than one style):

If you answered mostly…Your child has a…
AVisual Organizational style
BSpatial/Cozy Organizational Style
CChronological/Sequential Organizational Style

My child’s organizational style is____________________________________________________

SkillLooks Like…
AttentionAttending to relevant things, shifting attention
InhibitionStopping impulsive responses, delaying action long enough to consider options
Working MemoryHolding information long enough to execute a certain behavior
Goal Determination and AwarenessAnticipate outcomes, set relevant and achievable goals
FluencyRapidly retrieving information and ideas; generating novel options/solutions
Planning and OrganizationIdentifying steps needed to complete a long term tasks, locating materials, finishing within a given time limit
Initiation and PersistenceStarting a task, sticking with a task even when other things are going on
FlexibilityFinding alternate strategies if the initial one doesn’t work, stopping failed efforts
Self-RegulationMonitoring efforts, evaluating the outcomes

Stay tuned for ways to help set up a work environment based on your child’s organization style!

References:

“Organizing the Disorganized Child” by Martin L. Kutscher and Marcella Moran

“Development of Executive Functions” by Jill K. Fahy and Gail J. Richard

https://www.proedinc.com/Products/31746/the-source-development-of-executive-functionssecond-edition.aspx